dreamt of social motivation. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang’s northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war’s fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it.
root in poor income, ie. salary from QRRS around ¥2000 since March, 2016, my credit crisis worsened and issuer bank warned of possible takeover my salary card. even its too mean to cover my startup activities, it does cover most of my living expense including my son's. so I now confronted with starving and survival on my bare hands. my first response is to find a part time job to cover bank commision, near ¥1000 monthly. but I really loathed to put myself in my 50s into labor market.
dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of confidence, new strategy to cope with current hard finance. I brought him dine out with Islamic noodle cuisine with which I again groupon and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his smart TV with more functions the android os powered.
dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in the farm resort and likely surveillance me. then dream being a rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, 云锋 in Chinese, one titled period blade, 节锋 in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and kept awake earlier not to miss it again.
dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dinned in a Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by the hostess by her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream I wording details for blog in dawn time.
dream of my new marriage. my passed parents prepared me for new marriage. my 2nd elder brother trusted to manage custom and celebration team from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is shy free and visited us in her house the night before rite. I saw clear I never saw here. last week banks’ call for returning credit deficit were frequent. I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister.
dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restore my 3 dynamic sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but godaddy's cpanel quite helpful and setup quickly. yesterday I demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how I love my own hut of communication, my own publication like the website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister's house. my eldest sister committed suicide in her prime time, likely after long time disharmonious with her husband.
synchronized blog from benzrad, at http://blog.benzrad.us. life waves of first arrival, songs of salvage, tear of joy in homecoming.
its my long time eye's candy to watch my cyberspace hut in communicative center of people. from the day I saw internet as a long time devotion bewither, I looked into the essential of publication. my sincere love even failed and broke me, my unspoken persistence of faith in beauty of life and bare support of holy principle, left me to recorded memories online. since 2006 I launched web search for my missing lover. after another in asylum, I liberalized and totally devoted to share my life and viewpoint in adversity. that's my fight for freedom, for world I longing.
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