it's an exceptional brilliant day today. since morning sunshine, I felt holy affirmative. now after noon jog, I proud of my leisure & solitude. during my main meal of the day, the accountant of dorm administrative team, my recent sweetheart, tentatively shown her boy kid aside the lane, which distinguished my any aspire at once. in dorm, I relentlessly reviewed my situation, I messaged my office pals for my previous monitor's mobile, and buzzed him after got it. the man hated me after so many years' grudges. but soon after I just joined the company, QRRS, he treated me well, shared me his lunar new year family banquet where his baby daughter first kissed me. she maintains single so many years, in some occasions, I wondered might be there is serenade between us, now it turned out trash. my son called back me next day after I cursed him, expressed regret, I peacefully told him my decision to set separation between our disputes: he may or may not visit me monthly as usual. next night I didn't buzz him routinely. next day my office dispatched food coupon for coming lunar mid-Autumn holiday, so I called him again, he seemingly more or less stunned, would rather muted me. in spare time, i saw his revenge against me, his refusal welcome me heartily. now I saw only holy saves us, and our disagreements.
in any sense, I more lonely now since the turbulent event with my poisoned son by his sinful mom, God, I still saw so many bliss upon me, dad, I enjoy my life so much even tumbling upon coming pitiful elderliness. in past mornings, I dreamed but I unable to blog them, for putting up myself cost me half hour and vanished all transitional memories, lest to say dawn chill uncomfortably twists all kinds of feelings, esp pains. dear God dad, does it matters, now that the sunshine so vivid outside? let my faith sings and joys with music radio echoes forever higher. dad God, bring me sooner my new family, my new infant before age swallow my body. thanks, dear holy, forgive my son and my sin after all typos, here and there.